Taylor Kensington

Taylor Kensington fucking gets on my last nerves.

In previous years and far away places, the village idiot was hated and despised. For some reason, every fucking poser at this damn school has wet dreams about the asshole known as Taylor Kensington.

Taylor Kensington smokes pot.

Taylor Kensington failed 10th grade... 6th grade... AND 4th grade... TWICE.

Taylor Kensington is rumored to have had sex with his ex-fiancee's pet ferret (ex-fiancee because of the whole ferret incident).

Taylor Kensington obviously ate paint chips as a child.

BUT...

Taylor Kensington is a god at East Rivercrest.

Taylor Kensington has dated every senior girl at ERHS at least once.

Taylor Kensington has had sex with every underclassman girl at ERHS at least twice.

Taylor Kensington obviously has gonhorrea.

Seriously, Taylor Kensington does have some sort of mess goin' on in his manparts. He always walks around scratching his crotch and then scratching his nappy highlighted hair that all the girls claim is "SO HOT!" If he's not doing that, he's taking a swig from his notorious Dasani water bottle that hasn't had Dasani water in it since the powderpuff game his first sophomore year. Now it is usually filled with Vodka. On Wednesday, hump day, he fills it with Rum though. He claims rum helps him hump better on hump day (he is rumored to have sodomized the ferret on a Wednesday).

So, picture an overgrown, unkempt, unwashed, infested manparts high school student wearing pajama pants, a wife beater, an unbuttoned Hawaiian print shirt, and Birkenstocks, and you have the second coolest male student at East Rivercrest.

He and that whore Jadria attempt to run shit when Chryssy and B. Poole aren't around. Somehow though, they find out and within the next week, Jadria's car is littered with free cheeseburger coupons and Taylor's Vespa has a dead ferret and extra small condoms lying in the seat (M likes it when Taylor and B. Poole are in a fight, 'cause it likes to take the extra small condoms... which is kinda weird).