Preface

pre-ten-tious adj.
1. Claiming or demanding a position of distinction or merit, especially when unjustified.
2. Making or marked by an extravagant outward show; ostentatious.

Everyone at East Rivercrest High School thinks they are the shit.

Hell, I could basically be done with everything I ever wanted to say about my uppidy school with that one sentence. But unfortunately, that won't get me and A on my senior project. This whole thing I'm writing is basically an attempt for all the senior's teachers to get one last surge of creative genius out of the wastes of life at this school before they go off to college, get strung out on coke, attract herpes, go into ungodly debt, or get banged up (all in the first semester).

Needless to say, I am not one of those individuals who is planning on going to a picturesque big state college with busty blonde co-eds and strapping shirtless rugby players. I'm going to Fordman Liberal Arts College. I have to get away from the Chryssandra Bales and Bradley Pooles of the world.

Chryssandra Bale and Bradley Poole--Miss East Rivercrest and captain of the 4 time All-state Champion wrestling team. Dumbest slut bitch I ever had the displeasure of meeting and the most muscle I've ever seen accompaning the saddest excuse of a person in my life. Nevermind what I think though. Chryssandra "Chryssy" Bale and Bradley "B. Poole" Poole strut around the halls of ERHS like veritable deities. No one seems to care that Chryssy has slept with B. Poole and all of his wrestling team mates, or that B. Poole has done the same... yeah.

Everyone around here is so fucking jaded. I can't wait to get out of here--to get to a place where there are people who aren't so involved in "the scene." I need to get to a place where people aren't so transparent.

It's the transparency of my East Rivercrest classmates that will aid me in writing this last hurrah about my shithole utopia of a school... that and my partner in crime, M.

M is just as vague as its name. And I say "its" because from the day M mysteriously emerged from the projection room above the auditorium during the valet parking assembly back in sophomore year, no one has ever figured out its sexuality. Mainly because no one talks to M... no one but me. And I haven't asked M just because I think it's cool... not that M is cool, but the fact that I have a friend whose sexuality is unknown to everyone.

However, as one could probably guess, the ambiguity is not appreciated amongst most of the illustrious ERHS Condors.

See, that's the thing though... everyone is expected to be the same. Everyone is expected to be like everyone else. Everyone is expected to have a fucking gender. Let the thing be an it. No one cares. Hell, if it's any consolation, there's a possibility that M could fuck both Chryssy and B. Poole... just like the wrestlers... Hmm...

Gotta go for now. I need to tell M that it has to join the wrestling team before graduation.