Justin Tollison

A lot of times, you really have to wonder why things are the way they are. I mean, amongst my usual burning questions of why am I always surrounded by such a myriad of tasteless, classless, and mind numbing weirdos, I am often plagued with the question of why Justin Tollison must deal with the sorry excuse of a sister that he has.

Justin Tollison is the younger brother of none other than Jadria Tollison.

Before I delve into what I consider a highly saddening story on the existence of East Rivercrest's geek-extraordinaire, I must explain that I like Justin Tollison. In fact, I feel sorry for Justin and the fact that he has to share the Tollison name with Jadria.

Actually, Tollison is a name around East Rivercrest that used to be synonymous with greatness. Jadria and Justin's grandfather, Charles Tollison was a very prominent city councilman before he went senile about 2 years ago.

Councilman Tollison walked into a city council meeting one evening completely naked claiming that when the council decided to plow through East Rivercrest Park in order to make way for The Shops at RiverEast Centre, they were "stripping" the community of its beauty, elegance, and grace. I happen to agree with Councilman Tollison, but that night, the loud offensiveness of his bare milky white backside seemed to drown out anything worthwhile that he was saying.

Many people believe that act of indecent exposure filtered through to Councilman Tollison's granddaughter Jadria and has made her the slutty hobitch that she has become. Her younger brother, Justin, however, refuses to live up to any example that anyone in his family has set for him, except that of the pre-senile days of his grandfather, Charles.

Justin, two years younger than Jadria, has vowed to restore his family's name to greatness by becoming the youngest city councilman in East Rivercrest history. Highly active in politics and public policy, Justin skipped fifth grade, and then two years later catapulted past eighth. He caught up with his sister Jadria, who at the time was just in her early years of skeeziness. It didn't really matter, however. Justin has never been interested nor involved in the same scene as Jadria. Even though he possesses the same good looks as Jadria, his rocketing through school made him an instant outcast, mocked for his intelligence and lofty goals.

Even though Justin's brains landed him at East Rivercrest High much before his actual time, he has fallen behind in his grades. A lot of the teachers at East Rivercrest are very vocal with their thoughts on Justin and his academic acceleration. Most think that it was wrong to have him skip two grades. Some clearly just treat him badly because of the image of his naked grandfather burned into their memory.

That never seems to bother Justin though, because even through his struggles to achieve the greatness once stripped from his family (no pun intended), Justin has maintained the pure and flawless reputation of the most God fearing and kind hearted person at East Rivercrest. He never talks badly about his sister, despite her saucy reputation, nor does he ever participate in any of the ever constant tragedy that fills the halls of this school. Justin just does his school work, pours over articles and journals about public policy, and spends time with his girlfriend. Yeah, ever since Becca Gandolfo turned God Squad, Justin Tollison has been all about her, much to Jadria's disapproval.

"I really do love Justin," Jadria said, flirting with Taylor Kensington last Wednesday afternoon. It was right after the last bell had rung, and M and I were looking for Taylor to see who would be this week's Hump Day Hump. Clearly, he had not had any luck with anyone else, so Jadria was the last option available. "I wouldn't dare fool around knowing that he is going to be home."

"If you love him so much and care what he thinks, then why do you treat him like shit?" Taylor asked. This glimmer of compassion from the school's biggest tool was such a shock that M almost chocked on it's Altoid.

"I just don't want to see him ruin a good thing. He's come so far, you know? And I really just think that him dating that Italian mob girl is just going to keep him from doing what he wants to do. You know, tarnish his flawless reputation," Jadria explained.

"Like she knows what a flawless reputation is," M scoffed still trying to soothe it's throat from the close call with the Altoid.

"From what I hear," I replied, "She gives a flawless blow job." M laughed and was suddenly choking again.

"Well, hell," Taylor sighed. "He is keeping me from what I want to do, too." Taylor was now adjusting what appeared to be an enlarging bulge in his crotch. Jadria looked down and giggled.

"The wrestlers are jogging this afternoon, I believe. Coach Powers' office will be unoccupied for the next hour and a half--" Jadria trailed off as she walked in the direction of the boys' locker room.

"Hey, J, an hour and a half? It's not gonna take that long, baby!" Taylor said, adjusting himself as he ran to catch up with her. Then he stopped in his tracks and scratched his head. "Why do you know so much about Coach Powers and the wrestling team's practice schedule?"