Tyler Praytor

Every school has a Tyler Praytor. Depending on your school colors and/or your school's athletic reputation, your Tyler Praytor is either a geek or the super cool guy that everyone likes.

At East Rivercrest, everyone likes Tyler Praytor... everyone except me.

Why anyone would go out of their way to show excessive amounts spirit for a high school is beyond me. I mean... it's high school. Half of these super athletes are gonna break something or are too dumb to go on to college to play a sport, so who cares about them now?

Anyway, Tyler Praytor can always be seen wearing red and gold... DAILY. It's like he has never been introduced to green, blue, or black even. It's so bad that people know every article of clothing that he has:

Chryssy Bale: "Don't you love Tyler's sweater?! Yeah, the red and gold one from AE!"

Si Everhart: "You know Tyler's red and gold track pants? I modeled those for Abercrombie."

Daniela Escobar: "How can Tyler find so many cute red and gold things?! I hate being pregnant!"

As for me, I wish I could hook Tyler to the football goalposts by his ERHS hoodie and leave him there until graduation. That way, there'd be no more "East Rivercrest! We are the Best!" or "Go Condors, Go Condors, Go!"

I'm sure I seem like I am overreacting, but I am serious. This is a DAILY thing. I could understand if it was just on football Fridays, or when a sports team is in the playoffs or something. But our school isn't even that good at sports. Like I said, we only won one game this year, and that was against Hiram Hall. And OH GAWD, when we beat them, the Monday after that game, here comes Tyler into the concourse with condor feathers taped all over his bright yellow Gap windsuit with red trim: "E-R-H-S! Number 1! We're the best!" And those damn fools followed him down the hall to the auditorium where he singlehandedly led the school in a celebratory pep rally. The teachers and administration didn't care either. Why?

Tyler Praytor is Tyler Praytor. And the Praytors have a great history at East Rivercrest High School. Tyler's dad, Ernest, was the first student body president AND the captain of the basketball team for 3 years. His mom, Shirley, was on the 1974 State Championship cheerleading squad. His oldest sister, Countess, was the student body vice president and drum major of the marching band, and his twin brothers Peter and Parker were tied for the number 1 golfers in the state and led the golf team to the state championship 3 years ago. His youngest sister, Bev is a JV cheerleader this year as a ninth grader.

But I guess you are wondering about Tyler himself. What does he do besides parade around in condor feathers? Well, we are all waiting to find out. It seems like all he is good for is resting on the laurels of his genetically superior family.

Tyler took his shot at the soccer team his freshman year and we suffered our worst season with the biggest deficits in the history of the school. Bridgeport High beat us 27-1. When Tyler went out for wrestling, a Hiram Hall monster practically twisted him into a pretzel... and for like 3 weeks, Tyler was called Pretzel Praytor, but a school spirit pep talk led by his parents of ERHS royalty quickly retired that name.

Ever since, no matter how lame or goofy Tyler Praytor appears in his spirited attire, the name Praytor has always stood for excellence... at least at East Rivercrest High School it has.

Out of all the ERHS Praytors, none of them have amounted to much of anything. Ernest Praytor is a mechanic, Shirley Praytor is a manager at a local tanning salon, Countess is in her 6th year as a cosmetology major at Center State Technical College, and Peter and Parker opened up a golf store the next city over... where the Praytors had to move when Ernest lost his job as CEO of Automotive Industries when they found out his degree was not from an accredited university. That's right. Tyler Praytor, the most spirited person at East Rivercrest High School doesn't even live in the East Rivercrest Community.